“Where’s Daddy” is a wonderful game Angela and I play with our kids when they are little.
I take cover behind a baby blanket and say, “Where’s Daddy?” I suddenly drop the blanket and to the baby’s delight I laugh and smile at them while they giggle with surprise. (Kids are SO fun!)
For our family, this is a joyful game of bonding, but for many others this question is a harsh reality that leaves a wake of invalidated and hurting kids.
Some kids never meet their Dad, some only see him as he grabs a cup of coffee on his way out the door in the morning, and others still question (years later) if it was something that they did to cause their Dad to desert the family when they were young.
Our kids crave our attention and they need our affection. We must acknowledge and comply with their yearnings on top of our nine to five.
To put it plainly, there is no easy path in the life of a Dad.
How many movies or shows have you seen where the kid is at their sporting event and scanning the bleachers for Dad? Kids need consistent affirmation and validation from their dads.
Dads are often portrayed as blundering idiots and buffoons in mainstream media. They tell their kids to act one way, while doing the exact opposite. We should all understand by now that this is a gross misconduct of the responsibility placed upon us as Dads.
Too many men are quick to make a deposit, and just as quick to leave when the reality sets in that it’s time to grow up and stop thinking about someone other than themselves.
If you still don’t believe me let’s take a look at the statistics.
Father-deprived children are:
72% of all teenage murderers.
60% of rapists.
70% of kids incarcerated.
twice as likely to quit school.
11 times more likely to be violent.
3 of 4 teen suicides.
80% of the adolescents in psychiatric hospitals.
90% of runaways
I hope I’ve made my point clear, Dads have an unsurmountable amount of responsibility placed on their shoulders the second they make a contribution to a life. Every single child in the statistics above started from an egg and sperm, so where are all the Dads?
It’s no wonder God says that sex is confined only to the marriage bed. A child needs both a committed father and mother to train him/her in the way he/she should go. The statistics prove it.
Being a Dad is easily one of the hardest things I have done and continue to do, but I know without a shadow of a doubt that it is worth it. Much correction occurs, both in our children’s lives and mine, but I won’t stop. Ever.
I refuse to be one of these dads who continuously puts work, a hobby, a vehicle, a raise, his own ambitions, or his own ego before his family. God is my provider and sustainer, He will continue to make me complete in every good work to do His will.
Now may the God of peace—who brought up from the dead our Lord Jesus, the great Shepherd of the sheep, and ratified an eternal covenant with his blood— may he equip you with all you need for doing his will. May he produce in you, through the power of Jesus Christ, every good thing that is pleasing to him. All glory to him forever and ever! Amen. (Hebrews 13:20, 21 NLT)
What is one of the things you feel a Dad should always do? Maybe it was something your Dad did for you that made you feel loved, or maybe he didn’t… Please share your thoughts below.
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Sources: National Fatherhood Initiative (U.S.A.), US Bureau of Census (U.S.A.), FBI (U.S.A.)
I’d like to think that I’m the kid of guy that tends to look at the bright side of the coin in each situation. I make it a point to see the potential in people, in a team I’m involved in, in my home life, in ministry… I can often dream big and can see projects and goals achieved in my mind months, even years before they are done. I believe God created me this way.
I built a couple of small decks around the house last fall, but before a single screw went into the wood, I had built that deck over a dozen times in my head. I had planned out the concrete pilings, (the spacing, the depth, the diameter)… I had visualized the joist layout, the cuts I had to make, the screw lengths, the deck board orientation. It was all complete in my head. So when it was time to build, I went for it!
But there are times when I don’t know how to carry out a task, or make a decision and I struggle. Then I remember that there is a code-book for building a life on this earth. The Bible! When answers are unclear, the effort is demanded on my part to get alone with God and His precious word, and ask Him to reveal His will to me for such a time as this.
God always wants to show us the right choice, He wants us to be succesful in all that we put our hands to. The key is seeking him whole-heartedly. He doesn’t want half of an attemp for us to get close to Him, He wants all of us. Every single part.
I’m making a point to give God my all when it comes to seeking Him and His direction for my life.
Who else is with me?
Church is designed to be a place where people of every age can have a radical, life-changing experience with God.
We as parents, need to continually look for and create these opportunities where our kids can be exposed to the powerful presence of God.
Our kids aren’t the church of tomorrow, they are the church of today! God’s word clearly indicates that we are to involve our kids in the work of the Lord.
“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6
Training involves learning to do something under the supervision of someone who has completed the tasks before. The verse doesn’t say we should only tell them, it says we should train them. Let’s remember that.
To me this means that when someone in my family is sick, I get everyone else (kids included) to lay hands on the sick one and we pray for healing in the name of Jesus. When we are in church, I expect my kids to be involved in worship (although I admit it’s tougher with 4 kids now.) Our kids see us working out our faith, and we involve them in it, knowing that this faith of ours will sooner than later become their faith as well. Angela has working on scripture memorization with Talina already, and she is just like a little sponge right now, she soaks it all in and retains so much of it. It’s actually unbelievable how she can memorize so much.
The latter part of this verse says that when our kids are old, they will not depart from the Way. This doesn’t come from continually cramming rules and commandments into our kid’s brains, this is nothing but the law. Instead, we must begin by by introducing them to the Savior of the World at a young age. From there they will learn to hear the Lord speaking to them, they will learn what conviction is,and their motives will be pure.
This way our kids won’t be solely motivated to behave because they fear punishment from Mom or Dad, instead they will be convicted in their hearts when they are doing something they know is wrong. Then they will be come focused on what they should do rather than focusing on not doing what they can’t do.
I have this burning desire within me to see my kids grow up to be so strong in the Lord, to be properly equipped, anointed, and commissioned to go and take on the giants of this world. I want my kids to be mature enough to be on their own in their faith far before they are ready to be on their own physically.
Who else is with me?