Category Archives: Marriage

Time to Reconnect

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Angela and I had the most wonderful privilege of escaping to the wilderness for almost an entire weekend without the kids. We slept in, we didn’t wake up to kids crawling over us, we didn’t have to change any diapers, we didn’t have to prepare any meals, we didn’t get peed or puked on, we had naps…

It. Was. Glorious!

First, I should probably clarify that I’m not the kind of guy that likes to hand off the kids at any given time in order to take off and indulge in a hobby, or a sacred weekly activity with “the guys.”
I take my role as a Dad pretty seriously, and that means I work hard to show my family that I have their best interest in mind at all times. I’ve also discovered that a big part of that is loving my children’s Mother.

It’s important to remember that I’m a Husband first, and a Dad second. Both are hefty titles, but it’s imperative that I remember which comes first.

I vividly remember my own Dad coming home from work day after day, and the first thing he would do was track down my Mom. If she wasn’t near the door when he walked in, he would walk the whole house if he had to. His first embrace was always Mom.

It didn’t take long for my siblings and I to realize that Mom was first in Dad’s heart and mind, and once they had a few minutes together, it was our turn to tell Dad about our day. There was no neglect, it made me feel safe.

I’ve worked hard to model this in my own home as well, and although we don’t get “out” as often as we would like at times, we always work hard to make time for each other, and we work hard to show our kids that this time together is important.

I’m not saying I’m doing everything right, I have faults and weaknesses, just like the next guy. But I want to encourage you this week in your marriages to show your kids that your spouse comes first.

It can start with the smallest of things, dish her plate out first at meal-times, hold the door open for her, make some time each day for just the two of you to sit and talk (explain to your kids that you aren’t to be bothered because this is important.) Let your kids see you honouring each other with your time, energy, and attention. Our kids are watching our every move and their perspectives and opinions of marriage are being developed and formed as they watch us interact with each other.
(A scary thought at times.)

Be so encouraged in what you are doing, keep at it, work hard to build a good home for your wife and children. The family was God’s idea, let’s not forget that. 😉

 

Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it; (Psalms 127:1a NKJV)

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Serrated Words

The question still sears into my mind and heart.

“Would you let another man talk to your wife the way you do?”

It stopped me in my tracks and I instantly felt ashamed for the way I had treated my wife in the past when I first heard it. My mind quickly spun through the reels of memories of times I was upset, mad, or hurt and lashed out with venomous words.

There was no way I would ever let another man talk to my wife that way, so why did I do it?

Me, the one that is supposed to encourage her.
Me, the one who entered a covenant to love her for the rest of my life.
Me, the one who promised in front of family and friends that through sickness, through health, through rich, through poor, that I would love till it hurts (and then some.)

Yet, I find myself tearing her down with words spewed out in anger.

Just like building construction, what takes months or years to build, can be reduced to rubble in a matter of seconds when proper care is not used.

So how do we keep from doing this?

As always, Christ is the ultimate example.
We are to love our wives the way Christ loves the church.
We are to look out for them, and we are to have their best interest in mind. (Think of the sacrifice Christ made on the cross for the church, does watching the kids for an evening, or sitting through that chick flick really seem that bad?)

I don’t see Jesus yelling at the people who came to Him broken, insecure, or hurt. He welcomes them tenderly with open arms. His love is unconditional, indescribable, and all inclusive.

Maybe you’re like me and have said some hurtful things.
Take heart, our God is the redeemer, and His forgiveness is readily available.

It might hurt your pride a bit, but admit your mistakes. Work things out.

Lets make the choice to cherish our wives, and remember, we’re better together.

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