Monthly Archives: May 2012

Spousal Communication

Are you on the same page as your spouse?

Talina came out of her room the other night when she heard Jarel in the bathroom, I told her to hurry up and use the facilities, but Angela stepped around the corner and scolded her for being out of her room.

Apparently Mother and child had a conversation ealier (unbeknownst to me) about staying in her room even if other kids were up and out of their rooms. (Talina needed to have a valid reason to be out of her room.)

I know consistency is required in the role of parents, but how do you stay on the same page with your spouse in sitiations like this? Do you have secret daily parental huddles and brief each other with the current disciplinary status of each child, or is that going too far?

I’m all ears on this one.



The Importance of Rest

While we were packing up camp yesterday, Caleb fell fast asleep on Angela. The little guy was completely out of it, so Angela laid him down on the bed in the motorhome. I looked at him in amazement, first because he’s so stinkin’ cute ;), and secondly because I realized how intriguing it is that we are all born with an on-board energy renewal process. Our energy is renewed as we rest.

Once we got home and got the kids in bed, I mentioned to Angela that I had a very relaxing weekend. It wasn’t super adventurous, we didn’t even bring the dirtbikes (originally to my demise.) However, I realized once we got settled in, that Angela knew what our family needed.

An extended weekend of relaxation.

I never realized how run down I really was until this weekend.

I had booked Thursday and Friday off work which transitioned the “long weekend” into an “extra long weekend,” and it was just what we all needed.

So with that let me remind us of a few things;

Our wives know us best, and more often than not, they are right. 😉

We need to put our feet up every once in a while and relax.

Over and out!

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Potential and Direction

I’d like to think that I’m the kid of guy that tends to look at the bright side of the coin in each situation. I make it a point to see the potential in people, in a team I’m involved in, in my home life, in ministry… I can often dream big and can see projects and goals achieved in my mind months, even years before they are done. I believe God created me this way.

I built a couple of small decks around the house last fall, but before a single screw went into the wood, I had built that deck over a dozen times in my head. I had planned out the concrete pilings, (the spacing, the depth, the diameter)… I had visualized the joist layout, the cuts I had to make, the screw lengths, the deck board orientation. It was all complete in my head. So when it was time to build, I went for it!

But there are times when I don’t know how to carry out a task, or make a decision and I struggle. Then I remember that there is a code-book for building a life on this earth. The Bible! When answers are unclear, the effort is demanded on my part to get alone with God and His precious word, and ask Him to reveal His will to me for such a time as this.

God always wants to show us the right choice, He wants us to be succesful in all that we put our hands to. The key is seeking him whole-heartedly. He doesn’t want half of an attemp for us to get close to Him, He wants all of us. Every single part.

I’m making a point to give God my all when it comes to seeking Him and His direction for my life.

Who else is with me?

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Guest Blog Post – Angela Marois

It has finally happened in my home. I’ll have to admit, I was a little shocked to hear it. I thought my kids were still way too young for this, but the other day those words escaped out of Talina’s mouth.

“But that’s not fair!”

My first thought was where she could have heard that? Every time my kids say something new and shocking I like to assume it came from outside the household. Generally not true, but that’s another blog.

My second thought was that I should let her in on a little secret – life is not fair!

What I ended up doing instead was sitting her down and asking her what she meant by that. It occurred to me that though she knew those words, it was doubtful she knew what they meant. When I asked her, she explained that she thought it wasn’t fair that Jarel got to go help Daddy and she didn’t.

So is it true? Was that not fair?

A while back I read some comments on a blog that was focused on being fair. Most of the parents commenting mentioned that being fair meant if one kid gets something, the other(s) do as well. Or if one went somewhere and the other wanted to go, then they went too. They all leaned towards the thought that being fair meant treating each child the same way. The same gifts, the same amounts, everything the same.

I have decided to challenge that thinking in my parenting. There are certainly times when my kids get the same thing. I mean, they all get the same meal for breakfast, lunch and supper. They all get the same snack each day. Lots of times it is fair for them to get the same thing.

However, is it fair for one child to get the same gift or opportunity as another just to keep the peace? I think not! It’s not fair to teach a child that just because someone else has something they should have it too. It’s unfair to give them the idea that all through life they should have the same “things” as everyone else. I don’t want to have kids who come home from school and say “all” their friends have a certain something, so they should have one too.

If I continually treat them this way in the home though, those are the results I can expect. I find this especially dangerous in regards to the body of Christ.

Too many believers spend so much of their walk with Christ wishing they had the same gifts, anointing and abilities that other believers have. They try to be someone they’re not – someone they were not created to be – in order to feel like they have those gifts too.

I’ve been challenging my kids to not covet their sibling’s possessions or opportunities, but to be happy for them instead. I tell them often that just because someone else has something, doesn’t mean they were meant to have it too.

I know this is working too! When we sat down to supper last night, Talina looked into Jarel’s bowl and noticed that he had a baby corn that was bigger than her own. First, in a pouty, sad voice she told me that Jarel’s was bigger than hers was. Then she stopped to think (without any prompting from me) and said “I’m happy that Jarel gets to eat the biggest one!”

If Jarel gets the opportunity to do something with Daddy that Talina is not invited to, she can be sure that the reason she is staying behind is because there is something equally important at home for her to do that she is much more suited for.

I want my kids to long for the things they were meant to have in life. To cultivate their gifts and anointings rather than wasting time wishing for someone else’s. I also want them to experience joy in watching others succeed.

God has given us all amazing gifts, talents and responsibilities in life. Mine are not the same as yours – no better, no worse – just different. Just like I’m teaching my kids, we need to stop wasting time wanting what God has given to others, and thinking it’s not fair when we try doing what they’re doing and it doesn’t work for us.

Because wasting the time we have on this earth trying to be something we’re not, and not fully realizing or living out all the amazing things God has planned for us – that is what’s not fair.

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You Can’t Argue With Experience

Church is designed to be a place where people of every age can have a radical, life-changing experience with God.

We as parents, need to continually look for and create these opportunities where our kids can be exposed to the powerful presence of God.
Our kids aren’t the church of tomorrow, they are the church of today! God’s word clearly indicates that we are to involve our kids in the work of the Lord.

“Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6

Training involves learning to do something under the supervision of someone who has completed the tasks before. The verse doesn’t say we should only tell them, it says we should train them. Let’s remember that.

To me this means that when someone in my family is sick, I get everyone else (kids included) to lay hands on the sick one and we pray for healing in the name of Jesus. When we are in church, I expect my kids to be involved in worship (although I admit it’s tougher with 4 kids now.) Our kids see us working out our faith, and we involve them in it, knowing that this faith of ours will sooner than later become their faith as well. Angela has working on scripture memorization with Talina already, and she is just like a little sponge right now, she soaks it all in and retains so much of it. It’s actually unbelievable how she can memorize so much.

The latter part of this verse says that when our kids are old, they will not depart from the Way. This doesn’t come from continually cramming rules and commandments into our kid’s brains, this is nothing but the law. Instead, we must begin by by introducing them to the Savior of the World at a young age. From there they will learn to hear the Lord speaking to them, they will learn what conviction is,and their motives will be pure.

This way our kids won’t be solely motivated to behave because they fear punishment from Mom or Dad, instead they will be convicted in their hearts when they are doing something they know is wrong. Then they will be come focused on what they should do rather than focusing on not doing what they can’t do.

I have this burning desire within me to see my kids grow up to be so strong in the Lord, to be properly equipped, anointed, and commissioned to go and take on the giants of this world. I want my kids to be mature enough to be on their own in their faith far before they are ready to be on their own physically.

Who else is with me?

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