Monthly Archives: March 2012

Am I Approachable?

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I was thinking about it today, how approachable am I to my kids?

We had a standing rule in the house growing up that I could talk about anything with my parents, as long as it was done with respect.     I remember snickering inside when the rule was first introduced (before I realized what the second half of the rule actually meant.) However, now that I’m on the other end of the barrel, I’m seeing it quite differently.

I’m realizing that with this kind of approach-ability comes great vulnerability. My parents ultimately gave me an all access pass to their hearts, an access which I could have easily abused (and maybe did at times,) but I’m beginning to understand it more and more as my own kids get older.

When you show your kids you care about what they are thinking, they feel valued and important. I remember feeling safe coming to my parents with the issues I was facing in life. The conversations (and sometimes arguments) about driving habits, music/friend choices, and curfews were a little easier to handle when I fully understood that my parents were in my corner, not backing me into one.

This rule also made admitting mistakes and areas of failure to my parents much easier, I knew I would get disciplined for what I had done wrong, but I knew that there was love in the home for me regardless of what I had done.

Angela and I made the choice to instate a rule like this in our home as well, believing that this will open the door to many “tough” but honest and open discussions in the future.

Who else will join us in the challenge to be as approachable as humanely possible?


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I’m Still A Student

I thought I would share some snippets that I have been learning about parenting in the past few years since having kids. I hope you enjoy them;

Comforting my kids is important, more-so than what might transfer from their face to my shirt in the process.

Don’t sweat the small stuff.

Do as I say, not as I do parenting is a disgusting abuse of the influence we have on our kids. It doesn’t work for one second. Kids be what kids see.

Mean what you say, say what you mean, but don’t say it mean.

When the kids aren’t listening, take a second or two to cool down and find out if there is a good reason for it or not. Maybe Mom told them otherwise.

Kids be what kids see. (I know this is in here twice, it’s that important.)

Kids pick up on the details. No matter how insignificant they might seem. This can be a very good thing, or detrimental.

Just like I don’t let my kids get away with much just because they are tired or grouchy, I should hold myself to these same standards.

The idea of me getting special treatment because I am the bread-winner isn’t biblical. I should want the best for my family, and yes, that goes for the last piece of bacon too. 🙂

These are just a few of the hundreds of things that I have been taught while being a Dad, either by the kids, Angela, or by any one of the anointed teachers in church.

What are some things you have learned while being a parent that you can share? Don’t be shy!

Ordinary Guy, Extraordinary God

On the outside, I’m just another schmuck that married “up.”

I’m just an ordinary guy with the usual personal struggles, it comes with the territory. I wonder what people will think of me too much. I could use more confidence. I’m worried about hurting people’s feelings. I say things I don’t mean. I let people get under my skin. I’m often afraid to take control when it’s required and make the big choices… But I am getting better.

I know I won’t be perfect on this side of heaven, and it’s likely that I will argue with Angela about something insignificant, forget to take the garbage out, and improperly discipline one of the kids this week. But that doesn’t mean I will ever stop pursuing excellence in all that I put my hand to. I deeply desire  to be the best husband, daddy, friend, brother, son, co-worker with Christ, business owner, employee… the list goes on. I know that with God, I can be the best “me.”

This is because I know that on the outside I look like anyone else, but  I have God on the inside and it is His anointing that is enabling me every step of the way. He’s there propping my eyelids open at 3:00AM while I am trying to soothe a screaming child, just like He’s with me at work prompting me to keep my mouth shut instead of giving someone a piece of my mind.

Philippians 4:19 says, “But my God shall supply all your need according to his riches in glory by Christ Jesus.”

This means that in regards to our callings, God has already made the provisions available for everything we will need. This could be the energy to slug through another day of work after being up with a kid all night, or the money to pay for the groceries to feed all the mouths in your household. Cling to this promise God has made, claim it for yourself, speak it out over your situation. God wants to see you thrive on this side of heaven, not just survive.

Lets not forget to ask God for everything we need to come out on top in this life, to not take advantage of His wonderful resources is foolishness.

Remember, with God for us, who can be against us?

The answer?                        NOBODY!

**The basic thoughts and concepts behind this blog post were inspired by Pastor Darryl Harm’s message this past Sunday.

Response Time

I’ve often thought about how God sees me responding to my kids, and I wonder if He’s ever tempted to model my response next time I call His name. Do I jump into action every time my kids need something, or do I eventually meander over once I’m done perusing my Facebook Timeline?

What if God matched my respective response next time I called on Him? How would that make me feel?

I find myself drawing parallels like this often.  Personally I’m pretty thankful He doesn’t model my behavior, instead, we are to model His. The Word says that His arm is not shortened (Isaiah 59.) This means that when we call Him to save us, he isn’t far away; he quickly gives us all the attention we need.

These kinds of parallels provoke me to ask myself questions like; how does it make my kids feel when I ignore them? How does it make my wife feel when I tune the crying baby out and expect her to deal with it? That being said, there are important things that we do every day that need to get done, and if we dropped what we were doing every time one of our kids called, nothing would get done. I’m talking about the things that interrupt what we “want” to do.

I truly believe that when we manage our time properly, it is possible to give our spouse and kids the time and attention they deserve.

We are all given 24 hours in a day; the difference in productivity is how we manage our time.

Do you agree with me? Leave a comment!

I think that was one of your kids calling, you’d better run and see. 😉

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