I was thinking about it today, how approachable am I to my kids?
We had a standing rule in the house growing up that I could talk about anything with my parents, as long as it was done with respect. I remember snickering inside when the rule was first introduced (before I realized what the second half of the rule actually meant.) However, now that I’m on the other end of the barrel, I’m seeing it quite differently.
I’m realizing that with this kind of approach-ability comes great vulnerability. My parents ultimately gave me an all access pass to their hearts, an access which I could have easily abused (and maybe did at times,) but I’m beginning to understand it more and more as my own kids get older.
When you show your kids you care about what they are thinking, they feel valued and important. I remember feeling safe coming to my parents with the issues I was facing in life. The conversations (and sometimes arguments) about driving habits, music/friend choices, and curfews were a little easier to handle when I fully understood that my parents were in my corner, not backing me into one.
This rule also made admitting mistakes and areas of failure to my parents much easier, I knew I would get disciplined for what I had done wrong, but I knew that there was love in the home for me regardless of what I had done.
Angela and I made the choice to instate a rule like this in our home as well, believing that this will open the door to many “tough” but honest and open discussions in the future.
Who else will join us in the challenge to be as approachable as humanely possible?