Monthly Archives: January 2012

Fair Parenting – An Important Reminder

One thing I pray often is that I would be a fair parent.

I know that we as parents don’t always see the entire situation play out between our kids. I have often responded to one of our kids’ cry, to find one kid laying into the other with a plastic hammer or other blunt toy. It’s easy for me to assume what happened, but I am learning more and more that we need to take time as parents to properly assess or analyze the situations we walk into. More often than not we don’t see the entire scenario play out, we often arrive in Act 2 rather than at the curtain call. We need to put our own emotions on hold and ask the following questions.

What exactly happened? Was he provoked, was he defending himself, defending his brother? Did she mean to hurt him? Did he simply over-react to something? Was he scared?

It can leave our kids hurt and confused when we discipline reactively. In order to properly discipline our kids, we need to use responsive discipline to correct them in love, and we need to have the big picture in order to do this effectively. We aren’t doing them any favors by guessing at what happened.

We need to been responsive rather than reactive in our discipline. Responsive discipline means putting your own emotions and feelings on hold for a minute or two while you find out exactly what went down.

I know it isn’t always possible as we are all humans, but fairness within the family is one of those key issues to keeping peace in the home between siblings. This can avoid many headaches, arguments, and resentment in the future.

We as Christians have access to a supernatural surveillance system rivalled by no-one. We need to pray that Holy Spirit would give us supernatural insight to ask the right questions, so that we can discipline effectively.

Let’s choose to always ask Holy Spirit to give us insight into what really happened, starting right now!

**APOLOGY**

I need to apologize for not posting last week, but with all that’s going on with Brody, life has been more than crazy. Here’s a quick update on his situation in case you are interested.

Brody is still in the NICU in Lethbridge and doing very well. He made the move from the isolette (incubator) into a crib over the weekend which means he is regulating his temperature very well. He is steadily taking more feedings by bottle rather than the feeding tube which is great! Once he is consistently taking his feedings by bottle we can bring him home! We can’t wait for that day, it seems like he has been in the hospital forever (just ask Angela J.) Thanks for your continued support by way of prayers, meals, watching the kids, and all the other ways you have helped. We have been blown away by the Body of Christ in action all around us. We are loved and blessed! We give God all the praise and the glory through this difficult time, and we know the battle is His, and the victory is ours! Hallelujah!

**Don’t forget that if you like what you are reading that you can “subscribe” to my blog and get an email automatically sent to your inbox when I post something new. Also, please let me know what you think, I would love to get some feedback or potential future topics you would like me to blog about.

I leave you with a quote.

“Normal is a setting on a washing machine.” -Phil Cooke

Be Blessed!

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From One Dad to Another

It is my honest belief that Mom’s should be given one night a week off, and that Dad should take the kids. Not a babysitter, not Grandma and Grandpa, not an Aunt or Uncle…

Dad.

First off, I want to clear something up. If a Dad is watching his kids, he is NOT baby-sitting; he is investing time into his kids. I’ve heard a few dads say that they are babysitting their own kids, and it irks me to no end. Let’s change it from an obligation to an opportunity.

Husbands, dads, your wife NEEDS a break! Whether she goes out for coffee with a book, or out with friends, or even shopping (preferably not for groceries.) On top of that, you need time to connect with your kids, and they need time to connect with you. You are your kid’s hero, the force to be reckoned with (just ask their rear-ends…) Where do you think the saying “my Dad could beat up your Dad” came from?

My wife Angela plays for the Lethbridge Syphony Orchestra, she has done so for over 6 years now and I am so proud of her. She made the choice when we found out that we were pregnant with Talina (our oldest) to take a break for a bit after we had Talina.

Once Talina was 2 months old however, Angela mentioned that she would like to go back. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t totally freaked out at the prospect of watching our brand new baby girl from 7:00PM-10:00PM every Monday evening all by myself. It was intimidating, I felt like Shrek on Shrek the Third… “They cry when they poop, and they poop when they cry…” But week by week I became a little more confident in my role as a parent and caregiver. I could do this. That was four short years ago.

We now have 4 awesome kids that I get to invest my time into. Talina just turned four, Jarel is two-and-a-half, Caleb is 14 months, and Brody is just over a week. I treasure and cherish my times with the kids, (especially Brody who is still in the NICU.) At home we build forts out of blanked covered furniture, make a colossal mess with watercolor paint sets at the kitchen table, snuggle up with a kids book, or play house-wide tackle football (which is not for the faint of heart.) When it’s nice out we go for walks, or to the park. Sometimes we just do a “movie-night”, complete with fancy drinks and popcorn.

I truly believe that when you take the time to invest into the relationships with each of your kids when they are young, that that gives you a rock solid foundation to build the rest of your relationship on. It’s become more apparent to me that kids being raised today need a strong support network to remain in the faith, and to really be who they are wired to be. Our culture does everything it can to make people feel inferior, but we need to show our kids that they need to be real, authentic, and exactly who God has designed them to be.

As dads, it’s vital that we realize sooner than later that the relationships/bridges that we build with our kids have limits as to what can be carried across them until they are firmly established. We can’t expect them to support the heavy discussions that we need to have with our kids if the bridge is still under construction. Ultimately, I am planning on having amazing relationships with my kids as teenagers because I am starting to build those foundations now.

I pray that you too will experience phenomenal relationships with your kids as a result of having a good foundation established early on in their lives.

Who’s up for the challenge of telling your wife that you want her to go out with her friends for the evening while you watch the kids?

Be prepared though, this is going to make your marriage even better!

Ready, set, go!

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